So I am trying to make a habit of not letting Miss Olivia sleep in our bed with us which I'm sure has proven to be more difficult on me then her. When she sleeps in her own bed, even if it's 2 feet away from me, I just want to hold her and cuddle with her.I attempted it the night before last and it went well for the first little while until she realized that I wasn't there. From then on out she cried... every hour on the hour. Even when I gave in and let her sleep with us.
Her crying went on until the morning and Jake's mom stepped in. I desperately needed a shower and there was nothing more I could do to get her to stop crying. It was nice to have a break.
Jake's mom gave her a bath. No big deal... right? Well let's just say that it was hard for me to give up that control. I was the only one who has ever really given her a bath (with the exception of the nurse at the hospital and Jake once, and for both of these baths I was present.)
Olivia did well in the bath, but after the bath screamed and screamed and screamed. I was just getting out of the shower so I was trying to get dressed quickly to "save my baby." Even when I finally held her (it felt like forever before I did) she was still upset. I was able to calm her down and I fed her.
It felt amazing though. She was crying for her mommy. It's an awesome feeling to have your baby cry for you and only you. The rest of the day went very well. We did some shopping. All in all it was a good day.
This morning we woke up around 8:30am. The most amazing thing happened. My little monkey started to giggle really for the first time. It was more than once too so I know it wasn't just her talking. The sound of her giggle is seriously enough to melt anyone's heart. She gets a huge grin when she does it too!
Mommyhood is sure shaping up to be fantastic. It has taught me the meaning of life. I can't explain this meaning as I have learned it's a feeling. When I look at her, I get flooded with this warm feeling of love. I love her more than anything and would travel to the end of the earth and beyond to make her happy.
Since day one I've said there are only three things in the world that I want for her:
1) To be happy. It doesn't matter to me what she is doing as long as she feels genuinely happy with her decisions.
2) To be healthy.
3) To love and be loved.
I think those three things alone are enough to make anyone live a fantastic life.
Again I'm sorry for how jumpy this is. It's hard to write well when you are jumping in and out of it while doing ten million other things!!!
Until next time! :)
xoxo- Momma Nicole
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